What’s Your Sign?

Mine is “Big Ass Robot”, seen on the left. It’s a Metal Sign, ascending in the House of Cyberdyne, and is typical of homicidal cyborgs, the destruction of the human race and a hatred of Water Signs (we rust, after all). We also like newborn puppies, long walks on the beach during the full moon and rough anal sex.

However, after looking at the alignment of these stars, it is entirely possible my Sign is actually Chewbacca, which means I’m a Wookie and you should let me win because I’ll rip your arms off. Whichever it is, I’m totally sure that these arbitrary and random sky-pictures completely determine my destiny from birth to death!

Or Maybe It's Chewbacca.

P.S. Atrology Is Bullshit. ‘Nuff said.

I Ran Into A Door, I Swear!

Honest, officer, I fell down the stairs and hit my eye after walking straight into a door! No, I was my fault! Please don’t arrest my boyfriend! It’s my fault, sir!

I didn’t listen, that’s all! But I listened real quick so I didn’t get a second black eye!

What Happens When I Don't Listen.

Domestic abuse really isn’t funny. But some people just won’t listen, am I right?

Mac Has Control Issues

I think I need to tell the cops at the city gate that they have a potential rapist in the city:

I Think I Need to Run Now

Hee hee hee: Bulging!

Later, Mac uses the coolest euphemism for getting an erection I’ve ever heard.

Mac Talks Nerdy To Say He's Getting A Boner

I think I’ll use that in a conversation right now:

Me: Honey, we need to get naked really quick!

Her: We do?

Me: Yep! I’m as leveled up as I can possibly be right now and I need to fight your boss character while I’m at my most powerful.

Her: You sure know how to kill the mood, don’t you?

Me: Fine. I’ll disarm my Staff of Power in the bathroom…

So He’s The Town Twink?

Apparently, when the Furries get lonely, horny and desperate in my town, the use Dana for their sexual gratification.

I think my wife and I need to have a conversation.

Dana Is the Town Pinch Hitter.

P.S. Isn’t the Hitter between the Pitcher and the Catcher? Does this mean there is some form of bizarre gay German porn I’ve yet to discover? I think the Interwebs owe me an answer.

After Visiting the (Adult) Theater

And the man says to the bartender “if six shots of Jagermeister don’t get the taste out of my mouth, I doubt one more shot will!”

Getting The Taste Out of My Mouth

Yes, I’m implying my breath tastes of Furries’ penises!

Road Movie to Berlin

So I stumbled into the theater late at night a little down on my luck. So I did what many people would do in such a situation: I gave a few hummers to earn a few bucks. Furries love oral sex too, I guess.

Could You Just Unzip Your Costume, Sir?

For $10 More I'll Cry The Whole Time.

Just a Pretty Sunset

Here I am in my Apple t-shirt, posing on a bridge as the sun sets. Nothing dirty about it.

A Pretty Sunset

Jerkin’ Back and Forth

Even though I had noticed already how naughty the animals were, this was the first time I decided to take a screenshot of it.

Apparently, the animals are big fans of mutually masturbating each other using bits of leather as replacement for the genitalia of the other person. Wow, that would make an awesome porno! It would sell millions in Japan alone.

Anyway.

Here is Tiffany giving me my first “Leather Jerkin”. I should mention that Tiffany is a stuck up bitch, so her offering to pleasure me is a bit of a surprise.

Tiffany Offers Me a "Leather Jerkin"

Later, Tangy asked me to giver her a “Leather Jerkin”. Maybe she watched all the fun Tiffany gave me? I know people dressed like animals are a bit “off” but I didn’t know that they are shameless voyeurs as well. Anyway, I’m apparently quite adept at working the leather cock.

Tangy Wants a "Leather Jerkin" From Me.

P.S. The name “Tangy” itself makes me giggle. Sounds like a nickname an astronaut would give to his girlfriend’s hoo-ha. Because I would if I were an astronaut!

P.P.S. Yes, I know what a Jerkin is. And I don’t really care.

My First Clothing Change

Before we get to all the naughtiness, here I am in my Pirate Outfit, which I made all by myself. Aren’t I precious?

My Pirate Outfit

In The Beginning…

I created Just Syd, my virtual presence in the world of Animal Crossings: City Folk. Since my wife accidentally made her character a male, I decided to play as a female. I am “Just Syd” and she is “Dana”. The funny thing is, both of our names are perfectly acceptable for either males or females.

Weird.

To clear up gender confusion early on, I will always refer to my wife’s character as a “He” even though my wife is very, very much a “She” and my character as a “She” even though I’m basically a “He.”

Anyway, here I am in my house with my meager possessions: a cardboard box, a table lamp and a tape player:

The Beginning of My Adventures

And here I am later that day after boldly breaking into Dana’s house and staring at him while he’s sleeping:

Creepy.

So, after this post, I will start putting up all the vaguely dirty, somewhat offensive and outright naughty pics of all the things I see, hear and read in my adventures in the land of Animal Crossings (plus pics of things I think are really cool). And before anyone asks, yes, I reached 12 years old and my maturity pretty much stopped there.